Marmalade?

The King's Breakfast
 A A Milne

     The King asked

     The Queen, and

     The Queen asked

     The Dairymaid:

     “Could we have some butter for

     The Royal slice of bread?”

     The Queen asked

     The Dairymaid,

     The Dairymaid

     Said, “Certainly,

     I’ll go and tell

     The cow

     Now

     Before she goes to bed.”

 

     The Dairymaid

     She curtsied,

     And went and told

     The Alderney:

     “Don’t forget the butter for

     The Royal slice of bread.”

 

     The Alderney

     Said sleepily:

     “You’d better tell

     His Majesty

     That many people nowadays

     Like marmalade

     Instead.”

 

     The Dairymaid

     Said, “Fancy!”

     And went to

     Her Majesty.

     She curtsied to the Queen, and

     She turned a little red:

     “Excuse me,

     Your Majesty,

     For taking of

     The liberty,

     But marmalade is tasty, if

     It’s very

     Thickly

     Spread.”

 

     The Queen said

     “Oh!”

     And went to

     His Majesty:

     “Talking of the butter for

     The Royal slice of bread,

     Many people

     Think that

     Marmalade

     Is nicer.

     Would you like to try a little

     Marmalade

     Instead?”

     The King said,

     “Bother!”

     And then he said,

     “Oh, dear me!”

     The King sobbed, “Oh, deary me!”

     And went back to bed.

     “Nobody,”

     He whimpered,

     “Could call me

     A fussy man;

     I only want

     A little bit

     Of butter for

     My bread!”

     The Queen said,

     “There, there!”

     And went to

     The Dairymaid.

     The Dairymaid

     Said, “There, there!”

     And went to the shed.

     The cow said,

     “There, there!

     I didn’t really

     Mean it;

     Here’s milk for his porringer

     And butter for his bread.”

 

     The Queen took

     The butter

     And brought it to

     His Majesty;

     The King said,

     “Butter, eh?”

     And bounced out of bed.

     “Nobody,” he said,

     As he kissed her

     Tenderly,

     “Nobody,” he said,

     As he slid down

     The banisters,

     “Nobody,

     My darling,

     Could call me

     A fussy man—

     BUT

I do like a little bit of butter to my bread!”

And the award for best actress goes to......

Oh, I can't believe it.
Wide eyes. Look around room. Smile.
I don't.....
I just........
I'm so happy.
Blink tears away. Keep eyes wide.
Oh. 
I mean.......
Look around room again. Make eye contact with any casting directors.
Thank you so much. Thank you thank you thankyou thankyou thankyouthankyouthankyou. Everybody thank you.
To choose me from such a talented list of contenders.
Look at each one in turn. Make eye contact and smile so they have to smile back at you.
Oh I have to ........ I mean......
Glance down. Raise eyes slowly through next line.
I'd like to thank everyone who was involved in this. Raise award. I couldn't have done it without you. Everyone has been kind and helpful and generous.
Bring award back to rostrum level. Big smile. Blink. Blink. Dab under eye with spare hand.
I'd like to thank my producer, my director, who was such a help in getting me to fulfil the role, and the writers for creating such a wonderful part for a woman, and the casting director for believing in me and my ability to bring the character to life.
The costume department who made me feel beautiful every time I walked on set, and the make-up artists as well, of course.
And the catering team who made excellent salads so that I could fit in those costumes! Smile. Pause. Sideways look to camera. The camera can be very cruel, you know. Small laugh. Give audience time to respond.
I'd like to thank my parents for allowing me to live my dream of becoming an actress. Thank you to Mummy for taking me along to dancing lessons and encouraging me and thank you to Daddy for paying for my singing tuition and my elocution lessons and being such a rock through it all. And begrudging every penny. See Daddy - it paid off! Smile.
Thank you to my wonderful partner Loving look. who has been such an inspiration. Even though his own acting career never made it past small town rep. This is for both of us Baby! Like hell it is.
Have I forgotten anyone?
Start building tears.
There are so many ......
Arms wide.
The camera crew. The lighting techs. The sound engineers. The editors. The stunt team. The fight scene choreographers.
My teacher in junior school who first noticed that I had talent.
All my directors during my stage career.
My fellow actors who were such fantastic examples to follow.
My friends who have all stood by me.
The critics who have written such great things about me.
The talent scout who first suggested I should aim for movies.
The coffee barista who made my morning espresso every day.
Kissing gestures. My fans.
My dog.
My hairdresser.
The guy at the corner store.............



 

More Shakespeare than you know

Think you don't know any Shakespeare?  You'd be surprised.  Happy Shakespeare's birthday. 

- "For goodness sake" - Henry VIII

- "Neither here not there" - Othello

- "Mum's the word" - Henry VI, Part II

- "Eaten out of house and home" - Henry IV, Part II

- "Knock knock! Who's there?" - Macbeth

- "All's well that ends well" - All's Well That Ends Well

- "With bated breath" - The Merchant of Venice

- "A wild goose chase" - Romeo and Juliet

- "Too much of a good thing" - As You Like It

- "A heart of gold" - Henry V

- "What the dickens" - The Merry Wives of Windsor

- "Puking" - As You Like It

- "Lie low" - Much Ado About Nothing

- "Dead as a doornail" - Henry VI, Part II

- "Not slept one wink" - Cymbeline

- "Foregone conclusion" - Othello

- "The world's mine oyster" - The Merry Wives of Windsor

- "In stitches" - Twelfth Night

- "Naked truth" - Love's Labour's Lost

- "Faint-hearted" - Henry VI, Part I


- "Send him packing" - Henry IV

- "Vanish into thin air" - Othello

- "Own flesh and blood" - Hamlet

- "Truth will out" - The Merchant of Venice

- "Give the devil his due" - Henry IV, Part I

- "There's method in my madness" - Hamlet

- "Salad days" - Antony and Cleopatra

- "Wear your heart on your sleeve" - Othello

- "Spotless reputation" - Richard II

- "Full circle" - King Lear

- "There's the rub" - Hamlet

- "All of a sudden" - The Taming of the Shrew

Thursday extracts: fossil hunting

At the bottom of the cliff path we turned left and began to pick our way across the pebbles until I found a place that I thought was a potentially rich seam for my search. I looked around and found several larger pebbles that appeared to be weathered clumps of limestone. I knew they could contain fossils and explained to Dad why I had chosen them and what to look for. For once I felt that I knew more than him about a topic and it filled me with a thrill that I was delighted to experience. He was impressed with what I knew and wanted to learn from me, for once, rather than our usual roles. I hammered each stone, tapping gently until it broke open. Some revealed ancient shell forms and ocean animals from millions of years ago. Most were simply lumps of limestone. As I collected my first few specimens I dropped them into a canvas shoulder bag that was slung across my body. We continued to work our way slowly along the cliff foot and my collection started to grow. From time to time Dad would find a likely piece of stone and he would hand it to me, silently, or with a slight, questioning sound that implied that he was asking my opinion.

After a while we stopped and sat on two suitable boulders while we ate our sandwiches and drank our tea. The day was fine and the sun shone brightly, just over the edge of the cliff, so we were warm but out of the direct rays. It was a perfect place to be. The sea was calm and made very little sound as its waves lapped gently back and forth over the rocks. And all the time we could hear above the sea’s hum, the crash and boom of the gannets as they fished just offshore. I felt like I could have stayed there forever and Dad obviously felt the same way. With lunch finished, we packed away our flask and sandwich bags and continued our hunt along the cliff until finally Dad looked at his watch and said, “We ought to be getting back to the car if you have enough fossils for your project.” I assured him that I had made a great haul and agreed that we should go. We turned to head back along the cliff foot and suddenly realised our mistake. While we had been ambling along the beach the tide had turned and was headed back at an alarming rate. What was more, we had not noticed as we fossil-hunted that we had gone past a small promontory and we could not reach the seaward point of it before the tide did. We were going to be cut off very quickly.

The Wise Child
Anne Jeffery
2010
Download it from Lulu.com

Book Review: The Glassblower of Murano

The Glassblower of Murano is a tale of intrigue, betrayal, love and politics. It tells of Leonora (Nora) Manin, whose failed marriage drives her to return to her native Venice and to a new career as a maestra of glassmaking. She is echoing the life of her famous ancestor Corradino Manin, who was once acknowledged as the finest glassmaker in the world, famed for creating the biggest, brightest, clearest mirrors and the most delicate candelabri. She has one direct link to the man in the form of a glass heart, made for his illegitimate daughter - also called Leonora - and handed down to her across 400 years..

The story spans those four centuries as Nora, now calling herself by her full Venetian name, lives and works in the same squares, alleys and factories as her ancestor, and suffers from the same schemes and jealousies that he faced. Throughout the intertwined stories the true heroine is Venice herself, La Serenissima: beautiful, compelling, and treacherous for the unwary.

The stories twist and turn in a pattern as complex as the island city's streets, with as many promising routes for its characters that lead only to blind alleys, forcing them to retrace their steps and find an alternate way to tackle life's challenges. Both have to deal with the officials of their times, although the consequences of error for Leonora are only disappointment and heartbreak, while Corradino risks an assassin's knife. Both have troubled love lives, and both are threatened by the jealousy of those close to them.

My knowledge of 17th century Italian history is insufficient to comment on Marina Fiorata's accuracy, although her descriptions are convincing. Her details of early glass making methods also seem well researched. But it is her evocation of the glorious city that is the most entrancing.

The book will leave you wanting to visit Venice - or at least to eat a bowl of pasta and drink a cold beer.


 ********************
The Glassblower of Murano
Marina Fiorato
2008
Beautiful Books, London

Thursday Extracts: Maureen Johnson, on not taking drastic measures

"What you don't realise at the time is that you're not seeing the full picture," Peter went on. "You don't think about the fact that things will change. Things always change."

*******

The Boy in the Smoke
Maureen Johnson
2014
Hot Key Books, London

Review: The Boy in the Smoke

Stephen suspects his parents dislike him, and his fears are confirmed when they fail to pick him up from boarding school at the end of term. He contacts his elder sister Gina, who whisks him off to London for a self indulgent spree of spending and over-eating that reveals her own severe problems as a troubled teen. When their parents finally arrive, Gina is banished from the house, and Stephen is packed off to Eton, where he has already earned a place through his academic ability.

Some time later, the only bright spot in Stephen's life is extinguished when his sister dies from a drugs overdose, leaving him to lead an increasingly successful but depressed existence at school. At an open day in his final year Stephen tries to discuss his sister's death with his parents but they are unsympathetic and even try to blame him for the tragedy.

That removes his last trace of hope, and he goes off to the boathouse where he slings a rope over a beam and tries to hang himself. He immediately regrets it, and is surprised to find that someone is there in time to rescue him, take the noose from his neck and look after him. And so begins a series of strange events in Stephen's life.

It would be wrong to reveal more of the plot. This is a ghost story with a twist and telling too much would spoil the tale. Whether it is because Maureen Johnson's The Boy in the Smoke was written for young adults, or because of the narrative itself, is hard to say, but it is an uplifting book. It would certainly be a great recommendation for anyone who is feeling depressed.

It was released for just £1 a copy in time for World Book Day last week, or you can download it as an ebook here: https://www.hotkeybooks.com/books/detail/the-boy-in-the-smoke

It's only 86 pages, but easily worth a pound of anyone's money.