Should I or shouldn't I?

When I write (anything really, short stories, novels, poems, press releases, whatever) I tend not to use contractions. You know: shouldn't, won't, I'll etc. But I have a problem. I have an idea going round my head that simply has to be written in first person and that person would never speak in full words. It's just not in his nature! I can hear his voice in my head, telling me the story, or at least setting up the situation so he CAN tell me the story, and he is obviously the kind who uses contractions.

My question is: would that put you off reading something of novel length?

Really unique

OK - just read that title again will you?

Now....... Are you seething, or expecting something very special?

One of my most serious peeves is misuse of words. (not misspelling, poor grammar, etc - genuine errors in what words mean.) Take 'unique'. I have lost count of the number of times I have heard or read, 'almost unique', 'really unique' and other modifiers attached to the word.

The dictionary definition of unique is: single, sole, unrivalled.
Almost unique is like being a little bit pregnant.

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The reason for today's rant is that 'really unique' was on a BBC radio news report. And they should know better!

In need of a good editor

I'm going to have a short rant. And if I offend anyone, I'm sorry. But I'm feeling in need of a pressure valve this morning.

There are an awful lot of bloggers who want to be writers. Some of them have even set themselves up as sources of advice to other potential writers. Some are published, some are hopeful, but the thing that many of them have in common is their apparent inability to use English correctly. Their posts are frequently full of errors.

I'm not talking about an occasional typo. I'm not talking about the UK/US variations in spelling. I'm talking about using incorrect vocabulary (malapropism), apostrophes in plurals, confusion of homophones (their, there, they're etc), the kind of mistake that should have been corrected at school.

I understand that not everyone was lucky enough to have an education as good as the one that I had. I appreciate that some people have battled with learning difficulties.

But surely, if you want to be a writer you should make an effort to improve your basic skills, shouldn't you?

You wouldn't set yourself up as a carpenter if you couldn't saw a straight line. Why on earth would you think you can be a writer if you can't follow some simple grammar rules?

a'postrophe

We went out last night to buy a take-away. We live in a village but there's a string of shops between us and the Chinese so we always window shop as we go along the street. And last night we encountered this little gem that is for sale in our local florist.

Now, I know all about the greengrocer's apostrophe and I fully accept that a lot of the people running market stalls are neither natural English speakers nor particularly well educated (even in their native lands) but this is different. Someone went to the trouble of embroidering this little error and presumably these bears are all over the country somewhere if they have been distributed widely by the manufacturer.

I have two basic questions. One is: Why the hell, if you are going to the trouble of manufacturing something with words on, would you not go to the trouble of checking your spelling? This is not a typo. This is someone who does not know the difference between your and you're. (And presumably yore - they probably don't even know that's a word.)

My second question is: If you run a shop and your (or should I say you'r?) supplier provides you with this little lovely. Why the hell don't you send it back and refuse to take delivery?

Many years ago I was involved in the production of a children's colouring sheet. It had a phrase on it (I'm not saying what or it will identify where I worked at the time and that's not fair) that included a plural. On the day it came back from the printer for final proofing I was on holiday. And someone else decided that the plural needed an apostrophe. Next time I saw the thing it was one of several thousand in box loads in our store room. I was devastated. And, needless to say, our extremely well educated customer base refused to buy them. They ended up being pulped. A waste of time, energy, money and natural resources that I have never quite got over.