Thursday, May 29, 2014


The King's Breakfast
 A A Milne

     The King asked
     The Queen, and
     The Queen asked
     The Dairymaid:
     “Could we have some butter for
     The Royal slice of bread?”
     The Queen asked
     The Dairymaid,
     The Dairymaid
     Said, “Certainly,
     I’ll go and tell
     The cow
     Before she goes to bed.”
     The Dairymaid
     She curtsied,
     And went and told
     The Alderney:
     “Don’t forget the butter for
     The Royal slice of bread.”
     The Alderney
     Said sleepily:
     “You’d better tell
     His Majesty
     That many people nowadays
     Like marmalade
     The Dairymaid
     Said, “Fancy!”
     And went to
     Her Majesty.
     She curtsied to the Queen, and
     She turned a little red:
     “Excuse me,
     Your Majesty,
     For taking of
     The liberty,
     But marmalade is tasty, if
     It’s very
     The Queen said
     And went to
     His Majesty:
     “Talking of the butter for
     The Royal slice of bread,
     Many people
     Think that
     Is nicer.
     Would you like to try a little

     The King said,
     And then he said,
     “Oh, dear me!”
     The King sobbed, “Oh, deary me!”
     And went back to bed.
     He whimpered,
     “Could call me
     A fussy man;
     I only want
     A little bit
     Of butter for
     My bread!”

     The Queen said,
     “There, there!”
     And went to
     The Dairymaid.
     The Dairymaid
     Said, “There, there!”
     And went to the shed.
     The cow said,
     “There, there!
     I didn’t really
     Mean it;
     Here’s milk for his porringer
     And butter for his bread.”
     The Queen took
     The butter
     And brought it to
     His Majesty;
     The King said,
     “Butter, eh?”
     And bounced out of bed.
     “Nobody,” he said,
     As he kissed her
     “Nobody,” he said,
     As he slid down
     The banisters,
     My darling,
     Could call me
     A fussy man—
I do like a little bit of butter to my bread!

Monday, May 19, 2014

And the award for best actress goes to......

Oh, I can't believe it.
Wide eyes. Look around room. Smile.
I don't.....
I just........
I'm so happy.
Blink tears away. Keep eyes wide.
I mean.......
Look around room again. Make eye contact with any casting directors.
Thank you so much. Thank you thank you thankyou thankyou thankyouthankyouthankyou. Everybody thank you.
To choose me from such a talented list of contenders.
Look at each one in turn. Make eye contact and smile so they have to smile back at you.
Oh I have to ........ I mean......
Glance down. Raise eyes slowly through next line.
I'd like to thank everyone who was involved in this. Raise award. I couldn't have done it without you. Everyone has been kind and helpful and generous.
Bring award back to rostrum level. Big smile. Blink. Blink. Dab under eye with spare hand.
I'd like to thank my producer, my director, who was such a help in getting me to fulfil the role, and the writers for creating such a wonderful part for a woman, and the casting director for believing in me and my ability to bring the character to life.
The costume department who made me feel beautiful every time I walked on set, and the make-up artists as well, of course.
And the catering team who made excellent salads so that I could fit in those costumes! Smile. Pause. Sideways look to camera. The camera can be very cruel, you know. Small laugh. Give audience time to respond.
I'd like to thank my parents for allowing me to live my dream of becoming an actress. Thank you to Mummy for taking me along to dancing lessons and encouraging me and thank you to Daddy for paying for my singing tuition and my elocution lessons and being such a rock through it all. And begrudging every penny. See Daddy - it paid off! Smile.
Thank you to my wonderful partner Loving look. who has been such an inspiration. Even though his own acting career never made it past small town rep. This is for both of us Baby! Like hell it is.
Have I forgotten anyone?
Start building tears.
There are so many ......
Arms wide.
The camera crew. The lighting techs. The sound engineers. The editors. The stunt team. The fight scene choreographers.
My teacher in junior school who first noticed that I had talent.
All my directors during my stage career.
My fellow actors who were such fantastic examples to follow.
My friends who have all stood by me.
The critics who have written such great things about me.
The talent scout who first suggested I should aim for movies.
The coffee barista who made my morning espresso every day.
Kissing gestures. My fans.
My dog.
My hairdresser.
The guy at the corner store.............